Those Last Words

JULY 23 2010 1920 - JACKSONVILLE FL - Living a solitary lifestyle offers many advantages. There is very little stress, no unreasonable demands, the ability to do what you want, when you want, for as long as you want, and no one is there to judge your actions. Perhaps the greatest of all merits of a solitary lifestyle is the ability to simply think and contemplate life and its overall meaning.

 

You may already be aware that I've been reading a book dealing with the subject of Emotional Intelligence, which was written by Daniel Goleman. The publication was a journey in and of itself, and indeed one that I was desperately in need of taking. Without a doubt, Daniel Goleman's book opened my eyes to aspects about me that I would have not previously considered. The book also prepared me for the book that I am reading now, which is The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, this one written by Stephen Covey.

 

As I did with Daniel Goleman, I am finding Stephen Covey to be deeply insightful, and incredibly thought provoking. As I read chapter 2 of Mr. Covey's book, I happened across a section where he challenged us to visualize our own funeral. Now, don't be alarmed, but when I was in high school more than 25 years ago, I wrote a short story entitled Witnessing My Own Funeral. So, the thought introduced by Mr. Covey was actually something that I touched on earlier in my life, but just not to the extreme that Mr. Covey wanted his readers to visualize.

 

See, Mr. Covey wants his readers to imagine they were sitting on the front pew of the church, looking at their body in the coffin. That I did. Now sitting next to me was my Brother - representing my family -, my Pastor - representing my church-, my manager - representing my work -, my Band Director - representing my education -, and my son Barry who was someone I've never seen before, but he represented my children.  Now, the thing about these people who were sitting next to me, at my funeral, is that one of them is charged with delivering my eulogy. The question is mind is not so much of why were they chosen to deliver the eulogy, as it was what it is I  would want them to say about me in my eulogy.

 

What kind of brother am I? What kind of son was I to my mother and father? What kind of cousin have I been? Could my brothers count on me when the going got rough?

 

What kind of Christian am I? Did I walk the walk of faith, or was I merely on a perpetual journey in the wilderness? Who did I help? Who did I extend Christian charity to? Was my life like that of Christ, or was it like that of Job? Was my living in vain?

 

What kind of worker was I? Could I be counted on? Was I supportive of the cause, or in it for myself? Did I actually earn all that I was paid for?

 

What kind of student was I? Did I stop learning once the books were closed? Did I seek to share that which I learned with those who needed to benefit of my knowledge? Did I do all that I could do the learn all that I could learn in an effort to be all that I could be?

 

What kind of father was I. Could my children say with every degree of confidence that I was there for them physically, spiritually, emotionally? Could my children say that through it all, they are glad that I loved them completely? Was I understanding, or harsh and demanding? Was I the example that my children gladly elected to pattern themselves after?

 

What would I want people to say about me at my funeral? Everybody wants to make a positive impact on the lives of those whom he or she encounters. Indeed I am no different. My desire is a simple one, and that is to leave a lasting legacy of positivity. I am not perfect, and I will not be the one to ever pretend to be; however, I also know with all my heart that I am not a failure in life, despite my numerous short comings. So, what am I doing at this point in my life to ensure that the difference I am making matters?

 

Am I reaching out to be a helper and not a hinder to those whom I encounter in my life?

Am I loving with my actions, instead of falling victim to my emotions?

Am I being a real friend, instead of a fake associate?

 

I could probably go on forever, but the simple truth is no one has forever. The fact of the matter is I, like many before me, am going to die at some point in the future. When that day comes, how will those when knew me eulogize me? On the day of the funeral, it would be a little too late to change the opinions of those who may be tasked with delivering those last words about me.