NOVEMBER 26 2009 1725 - JACKSONVILLE FL- Happy Thanksgiving everyone. You know, for the first time in 44 years of life, I actually spent Thanksgiving alone. No turkey, no cranberries, no pumpkin or sweet potato pie. Utterly alone.
I will admit that I am a bit sad, almost on the verge of tears. This really hurts, almost like a knife being driven deep into my soul. Still, I am blessed. I have my health, my strength, a place to stay, my children (my first 2 children) and my grand children, even though my daughter and her children spent Thanksgiving in Brunswick GA.
Attempts to contact the wife to allow me to retrieve the remainder of my belongings have been unsuccessful, and I am at the point where I am about to just write off the items. It will be me walking away from 44 years of family history, items that are irreplaceable, but I guess that is the price I must pay. I am always making sacrifices, and suffer many loses as a result. Pictures of my family, gone. DD-214 gone, Birth Certificate, gone. Oh well, life goes on.
On the lighter side, I spent my first night in my apartment last night. No furniture, save for one inflatable mattress. Still, it is so much better than not having a place to call home. I know God is with me, walking each step I walk, pushing me up when I just feel like falling down. I know God loves me, despite my flaws, and there are many flaws. Yet, and still, there are times when I just want to scream. Will anyone hear me?
I've been at my daughter's house all day, just waiting on my son to arrive before I go back to my apartment and open a can of Cream of Mushroom Soup. It's not turkey and stuffing, but it is food, and there are many people who do not have that much to eat. Money is going to be tight for the next two weeks, as I have a full month's rent due on December 1st, but after that, I should be able to stabilize the finances, sort of. We will see.
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