MARCH 23 2011 2106 - JACKSONVILLE FL: So it goes a little something like this.
So I am sitting at work, talking to my coworkers, when all of a sudden my cell phone rings, well buzzes. I look at the phone and it is a restricted number. A restricted number! Like really? Honestly, like for real? News flash for the slow of mind; if the number is restricted, unlisted, or otherwise unpublished, I don't answer it, Period. If you do not have enough respect for me to call with your number unhidden, then you can treat yourself to the voice mail. Yeah byotch, that is just how I roll.
Now this restricted number called twice while I was at work. As if the idiot did not get the message the first time. Amazing how stupid some people are. I did notice that the brainless scarecrow did not leave a message. Oh well, if that person has time to waste, more power to them.
Now, something even stranger happened. My cell phone rings again, and this time the caller ID is from a woman I dated some years ago. A lady who is now married, and someone I have not spoken to in several months. Yoo-Hoo, retard, you don't think a red flag went up on that one? Two back to back restricted calls followed by a call from someone who I have not spoken to in months? Ok, time for the regional test. Florida: "Hum, she called me. I will text her later", South Carolina: "She calling me, let me call her back now", Inner City DC: "Some Bamma running game". I applied the Inner City DC option, and did not return the call or the text. That was a good thing, because her daughter sent me a text to alert me to a deception. The voice mail left by my friend also indicated she was under duress.
I am glad so many people think I am dumb. Those are the people who I really enjoy screwing with. Here is the deal. My friend and her new husband are probably at a bump in the road (already). New husband either snatches her phone and goes through her address book. He calls every number he thinks might be another man. He treats his wife like an object that he owns instead of a human being. Yeah, that sums it up nicely. In a nutshell, the fool is insecure, and yes I called him a fool. The boy really needs to grow the hell up.
You know, it really is a shame that men feel that they have to terrorize the women they are married to. In that regard, I am glad that I am cut from a different mode. On that notion, the following needs to be said.
Ricky, listen to me and listen to me good. While she and I dated, you interfered and would not rest until we broke up. We did, and the relationship ended. She got together with you. Although we remained friends, we did not take it any further than that, just friends. She announced that the two of you were getting married, and out of respect for you (the respect you did not give me) I backed away and faded into the shadows. She is married to you, and I do not mess with married women, period. Now, with that though in mind, you need to grow up and realize what you have so you do not jack up a good thing. I am staying out of your way because it is not my intent to stick my nose in grown married folks busines. Now, let that sink in for a moment. Now, as for your harrassment, I am going to warn you one time; Back The Hell Off, and do it NOW! I normally give two warnings, but in your case I am making an exception and reducing it to one. Pay attention to your wife, and stop worrying about everybody else.
Now, I am giving you the respect you deserve, and I fully expect you to give me the same. Please do not have us take this to another level. You have a good wife, a really good wife, so you need to fucus all of your attention on her. Man up and be a husband instead of childing down to get embarassed on the play ground.
Ok, I am done for now. The airplanes are back on the flight deck, but they are armed and set to ready alert status. I hope not to have to use them, but I will in response to crisis or other forms of aggression.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
A Date The Will Live In, Whatever
MARCH 23 2011 0640 - JACKSONVILLE FL: Here we are, the 23rd day of March, a date that will be forever etched into my memory, and unfortunately not tied to a pleasent memory.
This day would have marked four years of marriage, had it lasted. It is funny, but someone once said to me that only a fool would mess up a good friendship by getting married. That person was sort of right, but I think he overlooked one fundamental fact, that being if the friendship were really true, then nothing in the world would have tore it apart.
I know that to be true because I encounter, even to this day, friends who have been good wholesome friends from years ago who remember the good times as they were yesterday. With that thought in mind, I should question the friendship that I thought existed prior to this day four years ago. As it stands now, this is my third failed marriage, and I am beginning to wonder if marriage was ever meant to be for me.
What is very funny is the fact that my longest lasting marriage happened to be my first. What is ironic in that my first marriage was the most drama filled of the three. Now I clearly not saying that I need to be in a relationship full of drama, because to be perfectly honest with you, I deplore drama. Instead, I prefer a balanced relationship. That's right, I believe that no one party in the relationship should be overly dependent on the other. I also believe that conversation, if not the full foundation, is a major part of the foundation on which any successful relationship is built.
I can say that out of three mariages, conversation - true conversation - was not found in either. In fact, in my last marriage my now ex-wife preferred to mumble rather than hold an intelligent conversation. Regardless of what the topic may have been. It was as if I was talking to a three year old. Well, in fairness, I have had better conversations with three year olds, but that is neither hear nor there. At the heart of the matter is this one fundamental fact, in the absence of communication relationships fail. With that prevailing thought in mind, I desire a relationship where communication, regardles of the nature, exists. I don't think that is asking for too much.
I am a rather complex individual, and I know that to be true. I have often mused that I am the most complex person I have ever met. That circular reference yeilds a lot of merrit, and it is indisputable. I don't find my complexity to be a handicap, but rather more of a strength. All I have to do now is find someone with a compatible level of complexity, and thus far, I have not been so fortunate.
This day would have marked four years of marriage, had it lasted. It is funny, but someone once said to me that only a fool would mess up a good friendship by getting married. That person was sort of right, but I think he overlooked one fundamental fact, that being if the friendship were really true, then nothing in the world would have tore it apart.
I know that to be true because I encounter, even to this day, friends who have been good wholesome friends from years ago who remember the good times as they were yesterday. With that thought in mind, I should question the friendship that I thought existed prior to this day four years ago. As it stands now, this is my third failed marriage, and I am beginning to wonder if marriage was ever meant to be for me.
What is very funny is the fact that my longest lasting marriage happened to be my first. What is ironic in that my first marriage was the most drama filled of the three. Now I clearly not saying that I need to be in a relationship full of drama, because to be perfectly honest with you, I deplore drama. Instead, I prefer a balanced relationship. That's right, I believe that no one party in the relationship should be overly dependent on the other. I also believe that conversation, if not the full foundation, is a major part of the foundation on which any successful relationship is built.
I can say that out of three mariages, conversation - true conversation - was not found in either. In fact, in my last marriage my now ex-wife preferred to mumble rather than hold an intelligent conversation. Regardless of what the topic may have been. It was as if I was talking to a three year old. Well, in fairness, I have had better conversations with three year olds, but that is neither hear nor there. At the heart of the matter is this one fundamental fact, in the absence of communication relationships fail. With that prevailing thought in mind, I desire a relationship where communication, regardles of the nature, exists. I don't think that is asking for too much.
I am a rather complex individual, and I know that to be true. I have often mused that I am the most complex person I have ever met. That circular reference yeilds a lot of merrit, and it is indisputable. I don't find my complexity to be a handicap, but rather more of a strength. All I have to do now is find someone with a compatible level of complexity, and thus far, I have not been so fortunate.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Ok, So Like, What's Next?
MARCH 22 2011 0643 - JACKSONVILLE FL: It is a mad, oh so truly mad world that we live in, and the funny thing is, I seem to be one who almost accepts the madness.
So, what happened recently? Well, the United States, France and the UK attacked Libya over the weekend, I believe the first round was fired on Friday March 18th. Tomahawk Cruise Missiles, such a wonderful weapon. Needless to say Gadhafi is not very pleased. That's what he gets for thinking my President is his homeboy. Personally, I would have finished the job in 1986, but that is just me.
Oh, AT&T buys T-Mobile. How is that for serving Verizon a serious wake up call? That one move will position AT&T to be the largest mobile carrier in the United States, although their stocks have not seemed to move much over the past couple of trading days. Still, it is a ballsy move, and AT&T sure proved that they have a pretty big set. Now, does that mean I will go running back to AT&T? Oh, yeah right, like what the heck ever.
Heard there was an earthquake in South Carolina this morning. It was only a magnitude 2.0, but come on, it really does not take a lot to shake South Carolina up. Still, I am curious. There was the earthquake in Washington DC, I believe it was a small like 2.0 magnitude as well, and now the one in South Carolina. Seems like the shake rattle and roll is working its way down the eastern seaboard. Could the next stop be Florida? To borrow a famous phrase from the Hep Cat Days of Harlem, 'One Never Know, Do One?'.
So, here I am this morning, preparing to embark on another adventure with the Blues. You know, I am almost wondering if God is sending me a message of sorts. Let me explain why I am saying this.
You know how it is when it seems no matter what you do, or how hard you try, everyone else is getting ahead, and often on the merits of what you have done? Recently, and I would like to think that I am merely over reacting, but it seems as if regardless of what I do at work, I am walking into that same brick wall. It runs from ceiling to floor and wall to wall, ergo, no way up, no way down, no way end no way around, it is just there. I feel as if my talents are going to waste. Sure, people come to me the solve their issues, and when I do, they take the credit. In short, I have become a corporate prostitute simply being pimped by the system, and between you me and the fence post, the crap really sucks.
I am like an eagle in a canary's cage, not much room to spread my wings. Something has to give eventually, but what.
I gave it a little thought yesterday evening, as I allowed my mind to roam randomly, and I came up with the notion that maybe I need a soul searching mission. Perhaps, I need to just go as the wind blows and seek to find who I really am. I would most likely run out of money within a couple of weeks into this journey, but maybe that is what I need. I am missing something, and I just cannot put my finger on it. Perhaps a vision quest is in order.
Oh well, who knows. My mind just rambles from time to time. Still, just the thought of it, still.
So, what happened recently? Well, the United States, France and the UK attacked Libya over the weekend, I believe the first round was fired on Friday March 18th. Tomahawk Cruise Missiles, such a wonderful weapon. Needless to say Gadhafi is not very pleased. That's what he gets for thinking my President is his homeboy. Personally, I would have finished the job in 1986, but that is just me.
Oh, AT&T buys T-Mobile. How is that for serving Verizon a serious wake up call? That one move will position AT&T to be the largest mobile carrier in the United States, although their stocks have not seemed to move much over the past couple of trading days. Still, it is a ballsy move, and AT&T sure proved that they have a pretty big set. Now, does that mean I will go running back to AT&T? Oh, yeah right, like what the heck ever.
Heard there was an earthquake in South Carolina this morning. It was only a magnitude 2.0, but come on, it really does not take a lot to shake South Carolina up. Still, I am curious. There was the earthquake in Washington DC, I believe it was a small like 2.0 magnitude as well, and now the one in South Carolina. Seems like the shake rattle and roll is working its way down the eastern seaboard. Could the next stop be Florida? To borrow a famous phrase from the Hep Cat Days of Harlem, 'One Never Know, Do One?'.
So, here I am this morning, preparing to embark on another adventure with the Blues. You know, I am almost wondering if God is sending me a message of sorts. Let me explain why I am saying this.
You know how it is when it seems no matter what you do, or how hard you try, everyone else is getting ahead, and often on the merits of what you have done? Recently, and I would like to think that I am merely over reacting, but it seems as if regardless of what I do at work, I am walking into that same brick wall. It runs from ceiling to floor and wall to wall, ergo, no way up, no way down, no way end no way around, it is just there. I feel as if my talents are going to waste. Sure, people come to me the solve their issues, and when I do, they take the credit. In short, I have become a corporate prostitute simply being pimped by the system, and between you me and the fence post, the crap really sucks.
I am like an eagle in a canary's cage, not much room to spread my wings. Something has to give eventually, but what.
I gave it a little thought yesterday evening, as I allowed my mind to roam randomly, and I came up with the notion that maybe I need a soul searching mission. Perhaps, I need to just go as the wind blows and seek to find who I really am. I would most likely run out of money within a couple of weeks into this journey, but maybe that is what I need. I am missing something, and I just cannot put my finger on it. Perhaps a vision quest is in order.
Oh well, who knows. My mind just rambles from time to time. Still, just the thought of it, still.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Crazy Little Ripple Effect
MARCH 15 2011 2132 - JACKSONVILLE FL: It has been four days since a monterous 8.9, excuse me, 9.0 magnitude earthquake follow by a massive tsunami devestated Northern Japan. The images are still in the news, especially the images of a damaged nuclear power plant which appears to be on the verge of a meltdown.
As for me, I have been watching the stock market like a hawk. The damaged power plant was designed and built by General Electric, and I happen to own a few shares of their stock. From what I can see at this point, General Electric is not too deep in jeopardy, but I find it amazing to see just how many stock owners actually jump ship as soon as the deck seaman yells abandon ship.
Although the disaster in Japan has far surpassed crisis level, and the stock market is feeling the after shocks, I am a believe that General Electric, and indeed the entire market will bounce back even stronger than ever.
See, what the fearful are seeing is that there are explosions in the power plant, but what they are not seeing is the fact that the plant is still fighting back using the safety systems that General Electric built into the plant. They are not seeing that even though the reactors are experiencing casualties, the primary structure of the planet is remaining strong. They are not seeing that the safety features designed by General Electric is preventing massive qualtities of radiation from escaping into the atmosphere. There is some radition leaking, but when compared to other notable nuclear power plant mishaps, we are talking about a fraction of radiation that was released during the casualty at 3-Mile Island. Still, you can not discount fear, and with that thought in mind, it is OK by me for the fearful to dump their General Electric Stock. I am holding onto mine, and watching and the bear places his paw onto General Electric. See, I know that this is but a small bear, and there is a big bull standing by to butt General Electric back to where they belong.
I know there are people who think that I am stupid, and that I ought to bail out of the plane with them, and I may be stupid, but I believe that the ram air technique will be more than sufficient to restart the plane's engines, and when that happens, I will have the plane to myself. Yes, it is suicidal, but hell, if you are not ready to die then you are not truly living - said the man preparing to jump into the volcano.
In truth, only time will tell whose stratagy is the most sound. Will we all step up the to table and roll craps, or will the roll prove that the dice are loaded in my favor? Ain't no telling, pardon the grammer.
Since we are on the subject, let us all remember to pray for the people of Japan, as the after shocks of the earthquake are still being felt. The Japanese are a strong people, but even the strong need an occasional shoulder on which to lean.
Finally, let us ask this; what in the name of creation is going on with these earthquakes? Haiti was nearly wiped off the map less than 2 years ago, Chili was hit by an 8.8 Magnitude earthquake and severely damaged, Washington DC (yes, Washington DC) experienced an earthquake, Christ Church New Zealand, and now Japan. Let us never forget the Tsunami of 2004 that devastated Thailand, which many believe was caused by an earthquake of at least 8.0 magnitude. We are living in troubled times. Are the Myans correct? or, are we dealing with something even more sinister entirely? I don't know about you, but that is an aweful lot of massive earthquakes in less than a 7 year span of time. Just something to think about.
As for me, I have been watching the stock market like a hawk. The damaged power plant was designed and built by General Electric, and I happen to own a few shares of their stock. From what I can see at this point, General Electric is not too deep in jeopardy, but I find it amazing to see just how many stock owners actually jump ship as soon as the deck seaman yells abandon ship.
Although the disaster in Japan has far surpassed crisis level, and the stock market is feeling the after shocks, I am a believe that General Electric, and indeed the entire market will bounce back even stronger than ever.
See, what the fearful are seeing is that there are explosions in the power plant, but what they are not seeing is the fact that the plant is still fighting back using the safety systems that General Electric built into the plant. They are not seeing that even though the reactors are experiencing casualties, the primary structure of the planet is remaining strong. They are not seeing that the safety features designed by General Electric is preventing massive qualtities of radiation from escaping into the atmosphere. There is some radition leaking, but when compared to other notable nuclear power plant mishaps, we are talking about a fraction of radiation that was released during the casualty at 3-Mile Island. Still, you can not discount fear, and with that thought in mind, it is OK by me for the fearful to dump their General Electric Stock. I am holding onto mine, and watching and the bear places his paw onto General Electric. See, I know that this is but a small bear, and there is a big bull standing by to butt General Electric back to where they belong.
I know there are people who think that I am stupid, and that I ought to bail out of the plane with them, and I may be stupid, but I believe that the ram air technique will be more than sufficient to restart the plane's engines, and when that happens, I will have the plane to myself. Yes, it is suicidal, but hell, if you are not ready to die then you are not truly living - said the man preparing to jump into the volcano.
In truth, only time will tell whose stratagy is the most sound. Will we all step up the to table and roll craps, or will the roll prove that the dice are loaded in my favor? Ain't no telling, pardon the grammer.
Since we are on the subject, let us all remember to pray for the people of Japan, as the after shocks of the earthquake are still being felt. The Japanese are a strong people, but even the strong need an occasional shoulder on which to lean.
Finally, let us ask this; what in the name of creation is going on with these earthquakes? Haiti was nearly wiped off the map less than 2 years ago, Chili was hit by an 8.8 Magnitude earthquake and severely damaged, Washington DC (yes, Washington DC) experienced an earthquake, Christ Church New Zealand, and now Japan. Let us never forget the Tsunami of 2004 that devastated Thailand, which many believe was caused by an earthquake of at least 8.0 magnitude. We are living in troubled times. Are the Myans correct? or, are we dealing with something even more sinister entirely? I don't know about you, but that is an aweful lot of massive earthquakes in less than a 7 year span of time. Just something to think about.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
What Is The Meaning Of The Song?
MARCH 13 2011 2242 - JACKSONVILLE FL - You know what is really amazing? Songs. Well no just songs, but what those songs mean to the listener.
I am moved by a few songs, but of them all, I am most moved by a song from Mike and The Mechanics called The Living Years. I have been moved by that song for 12 years now.
I am going to tell you the story of a boy. Well, let me restate. I am going to tell you the story of a spoiled brat who had to learn things the hard way. This boy was one of five brothers, no sisters, just five boys, of which he was the 2nd oldest. This boy was always into something or the other.
One day, when the boy's mother was preparing to go and try to sign up for welfare, the boy was standing by the front door of the family house playing with a friend of the family. The boy's mother slapped him so hard that she left welps on his face for a week. The boy was only 6 years old. As a result the boy stopped speaking to his mother, and thus compelled his mother to feel that she had to buy the love of the boy. This went on pretty much through the boy entire childhood and adolesent phases.
One day, when the boy was 17 years old, he decided to invite his girlfriend over to the house while his mother was at work. The boy's brother told the mother who in turn chewed the boy out over the telephone. The boy felt that he was not going to stand for that, so after he walked his little girlfriend home, he continued walking and did so for more than 6 hours. That's right, the boy walked for more than 40 miles before returning home at about 5:00 am. His mother continued to elevate and revere the boy.
Years later, we will call it 2 and a half later, the boy marries his now pregnant girlfriend without his mother's consent. Upon returning home, his mother greeted him with a solid right cross. The boy knew he completely deserved his mother's wrath, and said nothing in return.
Now a husband and a new father, the boy decides he needed to do something to ensure he would be able to provide for his family. So the boy joins the Navy, and moves to California. While waiting to fly his wife and child to California, there was an incident between his wife and his mother. The boy sided with his wife, and vowed that his mother would never see her granddaughter (her 1st grandchild) ever again. At that point, the boy stopped speaking to his mother.
The years passed, the boy has a son, and the boy leaves California on his 2nd deployment into the Western Pacific. During that deployment, the boy's mother became gravely ill, and the American Red Cross requested the boy's presence during his mother's final hours. The boy was flown from the Phillipines to Hawaii, and from there to Norton Air Force Base in California. The boy would soon discover that as the tires of the airplane touched the ground in California, that his mother passed away at that very moment. It is believed that his mother held on just long enough to know that her son was feet dry on US Soil.
The boy arrived in San Diego and began to make preparations to travel to Washington DC for his mother's funeral. While driving from one point to another in San Diego, the boy heard for the first time The Living Years by Mike and The Mechanics. The song forced the boy to pull his car over on the side of the road and cry uncontrollably.
I know this boy very well, because this boy is me. The words of the song rang so true as I realized that my mother died without me being there to tell her that I Love Her. I carry that burden with me until the day that I will come to die. Now, whenever I hear Mike and The Mechanics singing The Living Years, I encounter two emotions. I feel the profound sorrow for the way I treated my mothers as I grew up, and I feel joy because God placed me into the life of someone who I feel to this day is the best woman I could have ever shared my life with.
It is not the song, but the meaning of the song. The Living Years has a powerful meaning for me, and as such, it is forever engraved into my heart.
I am moved by a few songs, but of them all, I am most moved by a song from Mike and The Mechanics called The Living Years. I have been moved by that song for 12 years now.
I am going to tell you the story of a boy. Well, let me restate. I am going to tell you the story of a spoiled brat who had to learn things the hard way. This boy was one of five brothers, no sisters, just five boys, of which he was the 2nd oldest. This boy was always into something or the other.
One day, when the boy's mother was preparing to go and try to sign up for welfare, the boy was standing by the front door of the family house playing with a friend of the family. The boy's mother slapped him so hard that she left welps on his face for a week. The boy was only 6 years old. As a result the boy stopped speaking to his mother, and thus compelled his mother to feel that she had to buy the love of the boy. This went on pretty much through the boy entire childhood and adolesent phases.
One day, when the boy was 17 years old, he decided to invite his girlfriend over to the house while his mother was at work. The boy's brother told the mother who in turn chewed the boy out over the telephone. The boy felt that he was not going to stand for that, so after he walked his little girlfriend home, he continued walking and did so for more than 6 hours. That's right, the boy walked for more than 40 miles before returning home at about 5:00 am. His mother continued to elevate and revere the boy.
Years later, we will call it 2 and a half later, the boy marries his now pregnant girlfriend without his mother's consent. Upon returning home, his mother greeted him with a solid right cross. The boy knew he completely deserved his mother's wrath, and said nothing in return.
Now a husband and a new father, the boy decides he needed to do something to ensure he would be able to provide for his family. So the boy joins the Navy, and moves to California. While waiting to fly his wife and child to California, there was an incident between his wife and his mother. The boy sided with his wife, and vowed that his mother would never see her granddaughter (her 1st grandchild) ever again. At that point, the boy stopped speaking to his mother.
The years passed, the boy has a son, and the boy leaves California on his 2nd deployment into the Western Pacific. During that deployment, the boy's mother became gravely ill, and the American Red Cross requested the boy's presence during his mother's final hours. The boy was flown from the Phillipines to Hawaii, and from there to Norton Air Force Base in California. The boy would soon discover that as the tires of the airplane touched the ground in California, that his mother passed away at that very moment. It is believed that his mother held on just long enough to know that her son was feet dry on US Soil.
The boy arrived in San Diego and began to make preparations to travel to Washington DC for his mother's funeral. While driving from one point to another in San Diego, the boy heard for the first time The Living Years by Mike and The Mechanics. The song forced the boy to pull his car over on the side of the road and cry uncontrollably.
I know this boy very well, because this boy is me. The words of the song rang so true as I realized that my mother died without me being there to tell her that I Love Her. I carry that burden with me until the day that I will come to die. Now, whenever I hear Mike and The Mechanics singing The Living Years, I encounter two emotions. I feel the profound sorrow for the way I treated my mothers as I grew up, and I feel joy because God placed me into the life of someone who I feel to this day is the best woman I could have ever shared my life with.
It is not the song, but the meaning of the song. The Living Years has a powerful meaning for me, and as such, it is forever engraved into my heart.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Finally Got A TV
MARCH 12 2011 2010 - JACKSONVILLE FL: Made a command decision - of sorts - today. I had to visit the bank to get a cashier's check to take care of a dead horse (in case you are wondering, it does not involve an animal).
I figured that I would visit a few pawn shops afterwards, just to see what was up for sale. Hey, in these hard financial times, people pawn a lot of good stuff. Case in point, one pawn shop had a silver professional model Alto Saxophone that they were selling for $240. Obviously their appraisers misjudged the value of the instrument because they could have gotten a minimum of $1200 for it, but I was not going to tell them that. I walked into this one pawn shop - a cash america pawn shop - and noticed they were selling 25 inch televisions for $50. These were analog TVs that were previously owned by one of the local hotels.
I could not resist the urge, especially when I consider that I have not had an actual television for more than a year. I ended up buying a 3 year old Phillips TV. After factoring in the cost of the analog to digital converter and the over thre air antenna, I spent a total of $95 for a television that is in very good shape.
Yeah, I know you are thinking that the simplest things in life seem to impress me, and you are right. All too often do we become enthralled with the superficial things in life. I personally thing that it is the little things that mean the most. For some, a TV is nothing much, but for me, it is one more step closer to the normalization of my life. It is a beautiful thing.
I figured that I would visit a few pawn shops afterwards, just to see what was up for sale. Hey, in these hard financial times, people pawn a lot of good stuff. Case in point, one pawn shop had a silver professional model Alto Saxophone that they were selling for $240. Obviously their appraisers misjudged the value of the instrument because they could have gotten a minimum of $1200 for it, but I was not going to tell them that. I walked into this one pawn shop - a cash america pawn shop - and noticed they were selling 25 inch televisions for $50. These were analog TVs that were previously owned by one of the local hotels.
I could not resist the urge, especially when I consider that I have not had an actual television for more than a year. I ended up buying a 3 year old Phillips TV. After factoring in the cost of the analog to digital converter and the over thre air antenna, I spent a total of $95 for a television that is in very good shape.
Yeah, I know you are thinking that the simplest things in life seem to impress me, and you are right. All too often do we become enthralled with the superficial things in life. I personally thing that it is the little things that mean the most. For some, a TV is nothing much, but for me, it is one more step closer to the normalization of my life. It is a beautiful thing.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Catching Up
March 11 2011 2344 - Jacksonville FL: It has honestly been a good little minute since I am contributed anything to this blog. Well, not better time than the present to kind of get back into the swing of things.
So, where do I begin, I mean other than the fact that we are in a whole new year (2011)? What is my claim to fame thus far in this new year? I guess I can sum it all up with a rousing not much at all. Well, outside of getting a year older, I guess I can say nothing at all.
I am still dealing with this whole single lifestyle thing. I am just not socially motivated at this point. Nothing seems to kindle my interest, and I am honestly lacking concern about that at this moment in my life.
I would go out and catch a movie every now and then. In fact I decided to check out Battle LA this evening. I actually found it to be interesting, even if the story line was unbelievable, and full of make believe. Something about stories of the underdogs who turn the tide in their favor grabs my attention. That has been the story of America for centuries. Underdogs with our backs against the wall like some cornered dog, only for out adversaries the find out that cornered dogs really do fight back. Yeah, I get a kick out of stories like that, and so I found Battle LA to be interesting. KInd of like watching an X-Box or PS3 game on the movie screen.
Anyway, take away the movies and my occasional walks, my life is rather mundane, and bland. Perhaps I need to find a good social club to become a member of. Trouble is, it is hard to find a really decent social club here in Jacksonville. Anybody know of any good ones? Believe me, I am all ears, so do share.
Maybe I just need that one good companion to talk to, and hang out with. Something platonic, becuase I am sick and tired of the lies and the games people play when it comes to relationships. Especially in the African American community, of which I am a part of. There is far too much back stabbing, the women do not respect the men regardless of how open and responsible we are, and there may only be 3% of the entire community that truly understrands what an honest and real relationship is. Most in my community simply look a good realtionship in the mouth and then do the Janet Jackson "What Have You Done For Me Lately" routine. Love means nothing to most of these folks, and honestly I am really sick and tired of it. The whole experience has soured me to relationships in general. I pray that I will get over it, but wow, I can't shake the experience. That is why I am seeking a truly platonic friend, someone I could share a real conversation with, because goodness knows there is not much in the way of conversations - at least not truly intelligent conversations - on this side of the fence.
Now, please don't take me the wrong way, not all of us are like that. There is the 3% that I mentioned earlier; however, it had been my misfortune the have not really encountered anyone from that 3%. I meet pretenders all the time. You know the type, they say the things they think you want to hear without giving you credit for your intelligence to be able to express who you really are to them. These people have to over talk you, belittle you, make themselves feel superior while makng you feel small. I can't get with that, life is far to short for that kind of living.
I know it seems like I complain a lot, and I apologize for creating that image if I did. Still, I want to be happy like everybody else. To me, happiness is balance. From balance comes harmony, and from harmony comes the beautiful music of our lives. That's all I want, and I don't feel I am asking too much. If I am, tell me so, but I really don't feel that I am.
Well, better call it a night. I will endeavor to maintain this blog better than I have in the past. Thank you for reading. Feel free to comment, and share your thoughts.
So, where do I begin, I mean other than the fact that we are in a whole new year (2011)? What is my claim to fame thus far in this new year? I guess I can sum it all up with a rousing not much at all. Well, outside of getting a year older, I guess I can say nothing at all.
I am still dealing with this whole single lifestyle thing. I am just not socially motivated at this point. Nothing seems to kindle my interest, and I am honestly lacking concern about that at this moment in my life.
I would go out and catch a movie every now and then. In fact I decided to check out Battle LA this evening. I actually found it to be interesting, even if the story line was unbelievable, and full of make believe. Something about stories of the underdogs who turn the tide in their favor grabs my attention. That has been the story of America for centuries. Underdogs with our backs against the wall like some cornered dog, only for out adversaries the find out that cornered dogs really do fight back. Yeah, I get a kick out of stories like that, and so I found Battle LA to be interesting. KInd of like watching an X-Box or PS3 game on the movie screen.
Anyway, take away the movies and my occasional walks, my life is rather mundane, and bland. Perhaps I need to find a good social club to become a member of. Trouble is, it is hard to find a really decent social club here in Jacksonville. Anybody know of any good ones? Believe me, I am all ears, so do share.
Maybe I just need that one good companion to talk to, and hang out with. Something platonic, becuase I am sick and tired of the lies and the games people play when it comes to relationships. Especially in the African American community, of which I am a part of. There is far too much back stabbing, the women do not respect the men regardless of how open and responsible we are, and there may only be 3% of the entire community that truly understrands what an honest and real relationship is. Most in my community simply look a good realtionship in the mouth and then do the Janet Jackson "What Have You Done For Me Lately" routine. Love means nothing to most of these folks, and honestly I am really sick and tired of it. The whole experience has soured me to relationships in general. I pray that I will get over it, but wow, I can't shake the experience. That is why I am seeking a truly platonic friend, someone I could share a real conversation with, because goodness knows there is not much in the way of conversations - at least not truly intelligent conversations - on this side of the fence.
Now, please don't take me the wrong way, not all of us are like that. There is the 3% that I mentioned earlier; however, it had been my misfortune the have not really encountered anyone from that 3%. I meet pretenders all the time. You know the type, they say the things they think you want to hear without giving you credit for your intelligence to be able to express who you really are to them. These people have to over talk you, belittle you, make themselves feel superior while makng you feel small. I can't get with that, life is far to short for that kind of living.
I know it seems like I complain a lot, and I apologize for creating that image if I did. Still, I want to be happy like everybody else. To me, happiness is balance. From balance comes harmony, and from harmony comes the beautiful music of our lives. That's all I want, and I don't feel I am asking too much. If I am, tell me so, but I really don't feel that I am.
Well, better call it a night. I will endeavor to maintain this blog better than I have in the past. Thank you for reading. Feel free to comment, and share your thoughts.
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