MARCH 30 2010 1403 - JACKSONVILLE FL - Today is a rather somber day for me. It should be a joyous day as a preparation to celebrate the birth of my father, but this day will be forever etched in my mind as the day my mother passed away.
Regrets, some people have few. Me? I have many regrets, but the greatest of all of my regrets is the fact that my mother went to her grave without me being able to tell her while she was still alive that I loved her. Please forgive the run on sentence, but this is an emotional time in my life.
My mother and I seldom saw eye to eye, and a great part of that was driven by my own stupidity. I could have listened more, but my pride would not allow me to. This is my personal lamentation, for I will never have another woman in my life like my mother.
Only one of my wives ever knew my mother, and believe me, Julia feared the presence of my mother. Perhaps that was because she realized she would never measure up to my mother.
At times, my daughter, in her firness reminds me of my mother, but I pass that off one of my mother's traits that I shared with my daughter. In many ways I am like my mother.
She would give even when she had not the means, yet would ask nothing in return. The truest example of a saint to me, indeed one that I would aspire to be.
I miss my mother more than worlds can ever say, and yet I realize that she is not more than a simple prayer away. It's been 21 years since that fateful day. This day. The day my mother passed away.
I love you mom, and even though I had a strange way of showing it, I always have loved you.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Let's Try This Again
MARCH 24 2010 2247 - JACKSONVILLE FL - I think this is going to be a short entry today because I am still convelessing.
Ever since my surgery on 3/17/2010, I have been presented with one big challange after another. I mean it took me until sunday the 22nd before I was able to raise my right leg. I am starting to bend it more. Then comes a minor setback of sorts.
You know, yesterday was the first time I had the pleasure or riding in the back of a Jacksonville Fire & Rescue Ambulance, and let me tell you, the experience is higly over rated. So, I am taken to Memorial Hospital, and the ER physician tells me that I have a right side and mid back strain. I was put on a course of medications including a 5 day course of Prednisone, and something called Cyclobenzaorine which is a pretty strong muscle relaxer. Between those two, and the medication I was previously taking, I have been sleeping hard day and night.
I am going to atte mpt work again tomorrow, and we will see that happens. In the mean time, I am starting to get drowsy, so I am going to call it a night. Oh what an interesting life I lead.
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Ever since my surgery on 3/17/2010, I have been presented with one big challange after another. I mean it took me until sunday the 22nd before I was able to raise my right leg. I am starting to bend it more. Then comes a minor setback of sorts.
You know, yesterday was the first time I had the pleasure or riding in the back of a Jacksonville Fire & Rescue Ambulance, and let me tell you, the experience is higly over rated. So, I am taken to Memorial Hospital, and the ER physician tells me that I have a right side and mid back strain. I was put on a course of medications including a 5 day course of Prednisone, and something called Cyclobenzaorine which is a pretty strong muscle relaxer. Between those two, and the medication I was previously taking, I have been sleeping hard day and night.
I am going to atte mpt work again tomorrow, and we will see that happens. In the mean time, I am starting to get drowsy, so I am going to call it a night. Oh what an interesting life I lead.
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Sunday, March 21, 2010
Making Great Progress
MARCH 21 2010 1935 - JACKSONVILLE FL - Today turned out to be very fulfilling.
I got up this morning and went to church. I had to take the church van because I did not feel comfortable in riding the bus. The church van was not bad, once I figured out the best way to sit.
Church was wonderful. It was youth Sunday, so the music was provided by the Thomas Small Youth Choir. The did three wonderful selections, one of which was a song called Haliluah, and another was a Donnie McClurkin selection called Living Word. Perhaps the most impressive selection was this multi-spiritual which included Swing Low, Angels Watching Over Me, and When The Saints Go Marching In. It was a very impressive song. The sermon was about praise. Which reminds me, I have to read Exodus 15 to see if I can interpret the praise song which Moses and Miriam sang. All in all, a great service.
I was treated to a surprise at home. For the past three days I have been unable to lift my right leg, but today I was able to do four sets of 10 leg lifts on the right leg. Call me psychotic, but I am going to try going to work with one crutch tomorrow. My friend thinks I should take both crutches. I don't know, this will most likely be a gametime decision.
The way thing are going, I should be back to my old walking self in no time. Although this time I will not have to worry about those silly calcium deposits anymore.
Let's see, what else happened today? Oh yeah, I almost forgot. There was an email from the ex-wife. Now this is funny, because I made an offer for us to engage in dialogue, but she decided to play stupid. A told her not to worry, and I washed my hands of the situation. In otherwards I let go, and now she wants to send an email? I guess men are supposed to be dumb creatures. Well I guess I am not the average guy. I decided not to read the email. I figure if she really wants to talk, then she will find another way to get through to me. I may listen, I may not. We're no longer married, and her lawyer is raping my salary, so she has what she wants, there is nothing else that I need to say to her.
It is not that I am being cruel, but I am just tired of being treated like a door mat. Don't get me wrong, I am still going to pray for her, but I have to distance myself from ignorance and drama. Call me what you like, hate me, heck deplore me, I don't care. I am at a point in my life where I am starting to care for the only person I think to be important, me. No, that's not true, I do care for others as well, but just not the way I used to. I am not going to shut people out, I am just going to stop putting other people's wants, needs, and desires ahead of my own.
I got up this morning and went to church. I had to take the church van because I did not feel comfortable in riding the bus. The church van was not bad, once I figured out the best way to sit.
Church was wonderful. It was youth Sunday, so the music was provided by the Thomas Small Youth Choir. The did three wonderful selections, one of which was a song called Haliluah, and another was a Donnie McClurkin selection called Living Word. Perhaps the most impressive selection was this multi-spiritual which included Swing Low, Angels Watching Over Me, and When The Saints Go Marching In. It was a very impressive song. The sermon was about praise. Which reminds me, I have to read Exodus 15 to see if I can interpret the praise song which Moses and Miriam sang. All in all, a great service.
I was treated to a surprise at home. For the past three days I have been unable to lift my right leg, but today I was able to do four sets of 10 leg lifts on the right leg. Call me psychotic, but I am going to try going to work with one crutch tomorrow. My friend thinks I should take both crutches. I don't know, this will most likely be a gametime decision.
The way thing are going, I should be back to my old walking self in no time. Although this time I will not have to worry about those silly calcium deposits anymore.
Let's see, what else happened today? Oh yeah, I almost forgot. There was an email from the ex-wife. Now this is funny, because I made an offer for us to engage in dialogue, but she decided to play stupid. A told her not to worry, and I washed my hands of the situation. In otherwards I let go, and now she wants to send an email? I guess men are supposed to be dumb creatures. Well I guess I am not the average guy. I decided not to read the email. I figure if she really wants to talk, then she will find another way to get through to me. I may listen, I may not. We're no longer married, and her lawyer is raping my salary, so she has what she wants, there is nothing else that I need to say to her.
It is not that I am being cruel, but I am just tired of being treated like a door mat. Don't get me wrong, I am still going to pray for her, but I have to distance myself from ignorance and drama. Call me what you like, hate me, heck deplore me, I don't care. I am at a point in my life where I am starting to care for the only person I think to be important, me. No, that's not true, I do care for others as well, but just not the way I used to. I am not going to shut people out, I am just going to stop putting other people's wants, needs, and desires ahead of my own.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Just Another Boring Saturday
MARCH 20 2010 1741 - JACKSONVILLE FL- Well, here I am, another Saturday with absolutely nothing at all to do. Ok in fairness, my dead Saturday is partially due to the fact that my mobility is impaired from my surgery of three days ago, but still, one would think there would be a little extra excitement.
So here is the deal. I am sitting in my living room, and you guessed it, I am on my laptop. Hooray, you win the prize. My neighbors are blasting music, which would not be so bad except for the fact that I can not understand a single word of it. My neighbors are Mexican, so they listen to the music of their culture. Oh well, at least the beat is nice, so one out of two ain't bad.
I spent most of the day on PeopleString and Facebook, which has become kind of the norm for me. Hey, no car, leg all beat up, money running low, Facebook is the next best thing to going to a club. A lot of my Facebook Family are still up at arms at the fa ct that I am stepping away from my soon to be Ex-Wife and Kid. Well she says she is pregnant although I have been unable to verify. Anyway, many of my Facebook friends can not understand my logic. That is OK, for I am not expecting them to understand why I am taking this action, just that they know that it is not a decision I have made lightly.
I talked to one of my church sisters today. She is one of a couple of twins, her name is Jeanette and her sister is Lynette. I explained to Jeanette why I made the decision I did, and she understood. Seems no one else knew the satonic principalities I am up against. Jeanette asked me if I am trying to communicate with my son, and I said that to do that I will have to communicate with the wife and she is not making that a possibility. So Jeanette suggested something that has honestly not previously crossed my mind. Jeanette suggested that I maintain a journal, kind of like writing letters to my son, and that in the future I can pres ent it to him. I took her suggestion one step further and put together a Blog that I am calling "Letters Of A Father". I wrote my first letter today, and I must admit, it was extremely therapeutic, and I felt much better after writing it.
It is almost like keeping a diary of my thoughts, a record of what is going on with me, preserving a history that I can share with my son, because goodness knows that evil winch is going to do everything in her power to erase any knowledge of my family from him. So mote it be, but I will have these letters to share with him as an adult. As my mother was so fond of saying, there is more than one way to skin a cat.
Still regardless of how that woman treats me, and what her ignorant tail thinks about me, I know the truth. I still have God, and as long as I have God I really don't need anybody else.
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So here is the deal. I am sitting in my living room, and you guessed it, I am on my laptop. Hooray, you win the prize. My neighbors are blasting music, which would not be so bad except for the fact that I can not understand a single word of it. My neighbors are Mexican, so they listen to the music of their culture. Oh well, at least the beat is nice, so one out of two ain't bad.
I spent most of the day on PeopleString and Facebook, which has become kind of the norm for me. Hey, no car, leg all beat up, money running low, Facebook is the next best thing to going to a club. A lot of my Facebook Family are still up at arms at the fa ct that I am stepping away from my soon to be Ex-Wife and Kid. Well she says she is pregnant although I have been unable to verify. Anyway, many of my Facebook friends can not understand my logic. That is OK, for I am not expecting them to understand why I am taking this action, just that they know that it is not a decision I have made lightly.
I talked to one of my church sisters today. She is one of a couple of twins, her name is Jeanette and her sister is Lynette. I explained to Jeanette why I made the decision I did, and she understood. Seems no one else knew the satonic principalities I am up against. Jeanette asked me if I am trying to communicate with my son, and I said that to do that I will have to communicate with the wife and she is not making that a possibility. So Jeanette suggested something that has honestly not previously crossed my mind. Jeanette suggested that I maintain a journal, kind of like writing letters to my son, and that in the future I can pres ent it to him. I took her suggestion one step further and put together a Blog that I am calling "Letters Of A Father". I wrote my first letter today, and I must admit, it was extremely therapeutic, and I felt much better after writing it.
It is almost like keeping a diary of my thoughts, a record of what is going on with me, preserving a history that I can share with my son, because goodness knows that evil winch is going to do everything in her power to erase any knowledge of my family from him. So mote it be, but I will have these letters to share with him as an adult. As my mother was so fond of saying, there is more than one way to skin a cat.
Still regardless of how that woman treats me, and what her ignorant tail thinks about me, I know the truth. I still have God, and as long as I have God I really don't need anybody else.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Hooray, The Bandages Came Off Today
MARCH 19 2010 1314 - JACKSONVILLE FL - Progressing one step closer with each passing day. I think it to be a good thing, but as with all things, only time will actually tell the tale.
My bandages came off of the knee today, and once the were removed, I noticed hat there were actually three incisions instead of two. I thought that to be odd, but the doctor soon explained the reason for the three incisions. I will admit, I was very shocked to find out the reason.
According to the doctor, I actually had three loose bodies in my knee, each of which have grown to pretty good sized. As the doctor commented, it was like extracting three marbles from my knee. and that was very interesting to say the least. The doctor told me that the entire surgery lasted approximately 35 minutes, although I felt like I was only out for a few seconds. Hey, I guess a deep anesthetic sleep will do that for a person. Over all, the doctor said that I shuld heal just fine, and even felt confident enough to tell me that I can return to work on 3/22/2010. Believe me when I say that I am ready to get back to work on Monday.
Being off for a medical procedure is ok, but I am one of those people who feel as if the walls are closing in on him, and that is something which I simply cannot stand. Besides, I crave daily interaction with my coworkers.
My oldest son is off from work today, so the two of us single guys are just kicking it around the house. I am going to see if I can pursued him to just move in and at least pick up the telephone and electric bills. That would really help out a great deal. In return I will make sure that he has a monthly bus pass every month. Storms only look bad from a distance, once inside, they are usually nothing more than a bunch of air moving and bouncing between pillar and post. Me, I am but the lowly sparrow who, with wings spread, rides the currents as they rise and fall.
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My bandages came off of the knee today, and once the were removed, I noticed hat there were actually three incisions instead of two. I thought that to be odd, but the doctor soon explained the reason for the three incisions. I will admit, I was very shocked to find out the reason.
According to the doctor, I actually had three loose bodies in my knee, each of which have grown to pretty good sized. As the doctor commented, it was like extracting three marbles from my knee. and that was very interesting to say the least. The doctor told me that the entire surgery lasted approximately 35 minutes, although I felt like I was only out for a few seconds. Hey, I guess a deep anesthetic sleep will do that for a person. Over all, the doctor said that I shuld heal just fine, and even felt confident enough to tell me that I can return to work on 3/22/2010. Believe me when I say that I am ready to get back to work on Monday.
Being off for a medical procedure is ok, but I am one of those people who feel as if the walls are closing in on him, and that is something which I simply cannot stand. Besides, I crave daily interaction with my coworkers.
My oldest son is off from work today, so the two of us single guys are just kicking it around the house. I am going to see if I can pursued him to just move in and at least pick up the telephone and electric bills. That would really help out a great deal. In return I will make sure that he has a monthly bus pass every month. Storms only look bad from a distance, once inside, they are usually nothing more than a bunch of air moving and bouncing between pillar and post. Me, I am but the lowly sparrow who, with wings spread, rides the currents as they rise and fall.
Start making money with PeopleString!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Walk Away, Just Walk Away
MARCH 18 2010 1753 - JACKSONVILLE FL - Well when the bad news comes, it rushes in like the waters from a broken levy swallowing up a small helpless town.
Still recovering from my surgery. My daughter came by to sit with me for a little while, and then my son came in. These are my adult children. As my daughter and I discussed dinner, I sent my son to the mail box. When he returned, there was a thick envelop in the pile. I opened that one because it was from the General Magistrate of Duval County.
In the envelop was a proposed order for Child Support, to be taken via payroll deductions. According to the documentation, I will be paying a total of $700 per month in regular child support and an additional $200 per month in arrearages. In other words a total of $900 per month, deducted in bi-weekly increments. I am presently bringing home only $1800.00 per month, out of which I have to pay rent, utilities, public transportation, oh yes, and I somehow have to buy food. This is not to mention that they are desiring to make me pay 50% of her liabilities because they were incurred during the course of our marriage.
Needless to say, this is going to destroy me financially, as I can see that I will not be able to afford the apartment, neither will I be able to afford a lesser apartment due to the fact that my credit is going to require me to put down up to 2 months worth of rent as a security deposit should I seek to move into a lesser apartment.
Still, I know God, and I know that God would not put me into anyplace that I can not afford, neither would God allow me to struggle to survive. What this means, because I am not going to contest the court order at all, but this means that I will have to find a way to cut cost even more than I have already. I am talking about extreme cuts, in all areas of spending. Yes, that means peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch, and perhaps dinner too. I will just have to pray that I can keep the few items of clothing I have in good repair. About the biggest challenge will be in the utilities, and telephone services, of which I am certain that I can find areas to cut cost as well.
I know it looks extremely bleak at the moment, but believe it or not, I do have a subtle advantage. See, my brothers and I grew up poor, or close to poverty, so we know how to survive in situations like this. In other words, these are not waters that are unfamiliar to me, my soon to be Ex-wife just thinks I am in unfamiliar waters. Truth of the matter is, I am used to doing without, and if I was able to survive then, I will be more than able to survive now. What is going to kill her is the fact that I am going to do it with a smile on my face.
I'd said once before, I may be down, but I am far from over. God give things for a season, and when that season is over, then we merely move on until the next season becomes known. From the aspect of seasons, I am about to enter into a cold winter of my life, but I do not worry, because I still have God to keep me warm. Give her the money, it is the blessing I have been praying that God would do for her. I am not going to change, I am still going to pray for her blessing, and I am still going to pray that God protects and keeps Ethan. Perhaps in the future she will introduce him to the father she wants him to know, since she did not feel that I was the right father for him.
Ironically, I am not bitter, although it is easy to see how one could become bitter. I am more so glad that this season is coming to an end. As I prayed and asked for forgiveness from God weeks ago, I will not interfere with her raising the boys. I will just fade away, with the only knowledge of me being the one who pays child support. I do thank God for the blessing of Ethan for the season I was allowed to share with him. I will not forget him; however, I must now bow out gracefully.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Surgery Complete - On To The Next Step
MARCH 17 2010 1820 - JACKSONVILLE FL - Today was the day.
I woke up this morning at the usual time, eventhough it was not a work day for me. I did not want to be late for my surgery. I actually had arrive by 8:30 am, but decided I would get there a little earlier.
I left the apartment at 11 minutes to seven and went to catch the 7:14 am U2 bus. I figured that since I had to rely on walking that I did not want to run the risk of cutting it too closely. Funny, I've not previously had a major surgery, and it was as if I was anxious to get today's surgery over and done with.
I walked into the Plaza Surgery Center at 7:30 am, completed the paper work I needed, and waited for my name to be called. I was finally called back at 9:50 am.
After what seemed to be an endless battery of the same questions over and over, and following introductions of the surgical team it was time to prepare for the surgery.
You know, I must give the team a 10 for safety. We have all heard the stories of the doctors operating on the wrong body parts, but Plaza ensured such an actio would not happen. Once they confirmed that the surgery was to be performed on my right leg, they wrapped the left leg in an ACE bandage. The doctor also initialed the leg that the surgery was to be performed. At that point it was off to la-la land for me. That next thing I remember was waking up, completely disorientated, but the surgery was done.
My knee was wrapped in a bandage, and I could feel the pain slowly building. Not to worry, the doctor gave me a couple of Percascet, and prescribed Loritab to help manage the pain. By that time, my son-in-law arrived to drive me home. We had to stop to fill my prescription and purchase some crutches on the way home.
So far everything seems to be going fairly well. My son is staying the night with me to ensure nothing happens as a side effect to the annesthesia. I am still unable to stand without the assistance of the crutches, but I have a feeling that I should heal fairly quickly.
I will admit that it is rather uncomfortable at the moment, but considering the trade off is I no longer have to worry about a floating calcium deposit, I can deal with a brief period of discomfort.
I woke up this morning at the usual time, eventhough it was not a work day for me. I did not want to be late for my surgery. I actually had arrive by 8:30 am, but decided I would get there a little earlier.
I left the apartment at 11 minutes to seven and went to catch the 7:14 am U2 bus. I figured that since I had to rely on walking that I did not want to run the risk of cutting it too closely. Funny, I've not previously had a major surgery, and it was as if I was anxious to get today's surgery over and done with.
I walked into the Plaza Surgery Center at 7:30 am, completed the paper work I needed, and waited for my name to be called. I was finally called back at 9:50 am.
After what seemed to be an endless battery of the same questions over and over, and following introductions of the surgical team it was time to prepare for the surgery.
You know, I must give the team a 10 for safety. We have all heard the stories of the doctors operating on the wrong body parts, but Plaza ensured such an actio would not happen. Once they confirmed that the surgery was to be performed on my right leg, they wrapped the left leg in an ACE bandage. The doctor also initialed the leg that the surgery was to be performed. At that point it was off to la-la land for me. That next thing I remember was waking up, completely disorientated, but the surgery was done.
My knee was wrapped in a bandage, and I could feel the pain slowly building. Not to worry, the doctor gave me a couple of Percascet, and prescribed Loritab to help manage the pain. By that time, my son-in-law arrived to drive me home. We had to stop to fill my prescription and purchase some crutches on the way home.
So far everything seems to be going fairly well. My son is staying the night with me to ensure nothing happens as a side effect to the annesthesia. I am still unable to stand without the assistance of the crutches, but I have a feeling that I should heal fairly quickly.
I will admit that it is rather uncomfortable at the moment, but considering the trade off is I no longer have to worry about a floating calcium deposit, I can deal with a brief period of discomfort.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Back In The Flock
MARCH 14 2010 1719 - JACKSONVILLE FL - Well, the TV offer fell through. The seller decided to back out at the last minute and not sell the TV. I guess things between she and her boyfriend are not exactly on the up and up at this moment. Oh well, just one of those things in life.
I went to church today, and was ever so glad I did. Everyone was happy to see me back in the congregation, and the service was excellent. I did not realize that it was Men's Day today, but I will admit that I was incredibly surprised at how the service turned out. The C. A. Gibbs Male Chorus sounded excellent, even without me in the fold. So that is to say that the music was wonderful, especially this spiritual number they performed. I cannot remember the name of it, but I will say that my soul was surely stirred.
The preacher was a guest Reverend J Williams, who did a sermon about the hand of God and how it relates to what it is that we as men must do or be . The reading came from the book of Daniel, Chapter 5 which spoke of the hand of God writing on the wall. I was amazed to find how it ties in with the reading that I am presently doing with the book of Jeremiah. People can say what they want about how the Bible is not clearly organized and all. I will say that to the unannointed the Bible would not make sense, but to those who are in tune with God, the Bible makes all the sense in the world.
Many members of my church family were astonished to find that I am going through a divorce. They were even more astonished to find that I have not been allowed to see my son since November, and that I am reluctant to fight her for the right to see him. I told them that her cult is giving her a lot of support and encouraging her to force me into a battle with her, and I am just not willing to engage her in said battle. My church family believes I should fight her for my son. It is a thought, but I must consider that if I do engage he r, I am not going to stop until I have completely destroyed her, and her lawyer, and that would traumatize my son. I just don't think I want to take him through all of that. I will have to pray on it. I just pray that the right answer comes to me, and that I will not be forced to turn my son into a rope for a tug-of-war game. When I engage someone in open combat, I do not fight cleanly, and my son will suffer collateral damage. Not too sure if it is truly worth it.
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I went to church today, and was ever so glad I did. Everyone was happy to see me back in the congregation, and the service was excellent. I did not realize that it was Men's Day today, but I will admit that I was incredibly surprised at how the service turned out. The C. A. Gibbs Male Chorus sounded excellent, even without me in the fold. So that is to say that the music was wonderful, especially this spiritual number they performed. I cannot remember the name of it, but I will say that my soul was surely stirred.
The preacher was a guest Reverend J Williams, who did a sermon about the hand of God and how it relates to what it is that we as men must do or be . The reading came from the book of Daniel, Chapter 5 which spoke of the hand of God writing on the wall. I was amazed to find how it ties in with the reading that I am presently doing with the book of Jeremiah. People can say what they want about how the Bible is not clearly organized and all. I will say that to the unannointed the Bible would not make sense, but to those who are in tune with God, the Bible makes all the sense in the world.
Many members of my church family were astonished to find that I am going through a divorce. They were even more astonished to find that I have not been allowed to see my son since November, and that I am reluctant to fight her for the right to see him. I told them that her cult is giving her a lot of support and encouraging her to force me into a battle with her, and I am just not willing to engage her in said battle. My church family believes I should fight her for my son. It is a thought, but I must consider that if I do engage he r, I am not going to stop until I have completely destroyed her, and her lawyer, and that would traumatize my son. I just don't think I want to take him through all of that. I will have to pray on it. I just pray that the right answer comes to me, and that I will not be forced to turn my son into a rope for a tug-of-war game. When I engage someone in open combat, I do not fight cleanly, and my son will suffer collateral damage. Not too sure if it is truly worth it.
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Saturday, March 13, 2010
Saturday The 13th - How Interesting
MARCH 13 2010 1734 - JACKSONVILLE FL - Today is an interesting day. First off, it is windy as all get out, but then again we are in the Month of March, which is supposed to be the windiest month of the year, so I guess a strong breeze or two is to be expected. So, what happened today? Well:
I woke up at 10:30 am, I mean I must have needed the rest, because God knows I was subject to a lot of undue stress leading up to today. Anyway, I welcomed the extra rest as I do feel very refreshed.
I went TV shopping on Craigslist. That's right, I still do not have a TV, even after all of these months. My Laptop has been holding its own, but let us be realistic, it will not be long before the Laptop just dies due to being overworked, and between you me and the fence post, I need my Laptop. I think I found a nice TV. Some lady is selling a 36 inch with remotes and an entertainment center for $50. Ok, I can hear you all right now; "What if it is a piece of junk" "What's wrong with it" "Is the shit stolen". Calm down, $50 is a safe amount to pay for something that I am aware I am taken a chance on. Well, it is actually going to cost me $100, because she has to provide delivery, so I was like whatever, I need the TV. I should have that by tomorrow (Sunday 3/14/2010) evening, hopefully just in time for my FOX TV shows.
I decided to go out to a movie today as well, I just jumped onto the bus, rode to Tinseltown and played the luck of the draw card for my movie selection. In the end I settled on Our Family Wedding with George Lopez and Forest Whitaker. You know, I have to say something, simply because this just irritates the living daylights out of me. Someone please tell me why it is whenever I go to see a "Black" movie, there are either people talking through the movie, or some dumb but female with a loud crying baby? In today's movie, we have the ghetto female with the freaking crying baby. She could not control the little rodent, and she got mad when a lady asked her to take the baby outside and calm him down. Oh we got to see her Ghetto Butt show out, she argued with the woman, telling the woman "You Calm Him Down" "You Leave" "So What I Don't Care, I Paid For This Movie". Devil be damned if before the movie started there was a message about being silent and respectful to the other movie goers. She even got an attitude with the manager of the theater. She decided to leave when the manager went to summon a police officer, but not before she yelled to the lady (a senior citizen mind you) "Enjoy Your Fucking Movie Bitch". I mean I wanted to slap the piss out of the ignorant twit, but I had to consider the source. Judging from her age, she was a child of the 1980's meaning that she was most likely the child of a child so the fool never learned any real manners. Regardless though, I had one time to say something like that to an elder, and my father would have pretended we were in a WWE Wrestling Ring, and he was Andre the Giant, if you know what I mean.
Well, the rest of the movie was great, after Ghetto Ma left that is. The movie addressed a lot of issues, among them valuing relationships, honesty, race relations, and more. All in all I thought it was a good movie.
Arriving home, I checked my mail box and surprise surprise, two letters from her faggot lawyer. I ready the contents, one was a mandatory disclosure requesting financial information, you know, the same Affidavit as I filed with the court? The second letter was a motion for default saying I failed to respond to the petition. This is funny, I mean really, did he not get the copies of my answer to the petition and the financial affidavit that I mailed to him? Makes you go Hum. I can imagine the egg on his face when the judge denies his motion for default and presents the filed answer, and financial affidavit. Someone must have told that rump ranger that I am stupid, or maybe he is assuming that all black people are stupid. I will allow the peter puffer to think what he wants. I do hope he is reading this blog, and I hope what he reads takes a bite out of his degenerate soul. We are at a state of war, she and I that is. I extended an olive branch, and she pushed it away, so we are in a state of war. All is fare in war, because there is no love associated with this evolution.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Oh What A Day Off
MARCH 10 2010 2248 - JACKSONVILLE FL - All I can say is what a freaking day today was. Considering the fact that today was a day off from work, my day was incredibly full from the rising of the sun, until the going down of the same.
I started my day with a trip to the Duval County Courthouse to file my Financial Affidavit. I wanted to get there right as the doors opened, because I just had a feeling I would be tied up for the remainder of the day. Little did I know how right I was at that time. I walked into room 103 at 8:00 AM, and over to a Deputy Clerk whom I become quite fond of. Her name is Tamara. She notarized my forms, stamped them and submitted them for filing. The entire process took less than 15 minutes, and from there I was on my way back to Arlington.
I went by the apartment briefly so that I could pick up the paperwork I needed for the doctor, and then I walked over to my primary card doctor. Since my doctor, Heimer, was out of the the office, I saw Dr. Joseph instead. She felt that everything was in order with the exception of one small detail. I'd mentioned that I was seen for what I thought was a myocardial infarction, otherwise known as a heart attack. Even though Baptist Medical Center at the Beaches ruled out a heart attack, Dr. Joseph wanted to err on the side of caution, and thus she referred me to a cardiologist, Dr. Campbell, for evaluation. I really did not mind, because I was able to get an appointment today, and the cardiologist was not too far away from the lab where I had my blood work done.
I walked into Quest Diagnostics, and waited for just about 1 hour before I was seen. I really did not mind, because I was able to have a conversations with a couple of ladies, both of whom were a few years senior to me, but we were able to talk about the way things were when we were young, and how things are now. I thought the conversation was very refreshing. My name was finally called, and I was on my way out of the facility 10 minutes after that.
I went to KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) for lunch, and then surfed the net at a Starbucks on the corner of Beach Blvd and University. I was actually trying to kill some time because my cardiologist appointment was not until 3:00pm. I finally started making my way over to the cardiologist at 2:35 pm, and after getting lost, I found the office at 2:55 PM.
After filling out the standard new patient package - I really wish there was a way to share persistent data between providers - I was called back to see the doctor. Now Dr. Campbell felt things were in order, but he did want me to have another EKG, which we have scheduled for after my surgery. Of course my surgery is scheduled for March 17th unless I hear otherwise.
After leaving the doctor's office, I went to get a prescription filled, did a little grocery shopping (spent a little too much, and came out with less than I thought I had), and made my way home. I returned home at 6:30 PM. Now let's put it all into perspective. I left the house at 7:11 AM, and returned home at 6:30 PM after going to the courthouse, seeking two doctors, getting blood work done, and grocery shopping. Bearing in mind that my primary mode of transportation were my feet, and the bus. Even though this was a day off from working at my regular job, I felt like I was working another job instead. Now just how wild is that?
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I started my day with a trip to the Duval County Courthouse to file my Financial Affidavit. I wanted to get there right as the doors opened, because I just had a feeling I would be tied up for the remainder of the day. Little did I know how right I was at that time. I walked into room 103 at 8:00 AM, and over to a Deputy Clerk whom I become quite fond of. Her name is Tamara. She notarized my forms, stamped them and submitted them for filing. The entire process took less than 15 minutes, and from there I was on my way back to Arlington.
I went by the apartment briefly so that I could pick up the paperwork I needed for the doctor, and then I walked over to my primary card doctor. Since my doctor, Heimer, was out of the the office, I saw Dr. Joseph instead. She felt that everything was in order with the exception of one small detail. I'd mentioned that I was seen for what I thought was a myocardial infarction, otherwise known as a heart attack. Even though Baptist Medical Center at the Beaches ruled out a heart attack, Dr. Joseph wanted to err on the side of caution, and thus she referred me to a cardiologist, Dr. Campbell, for evaluation. I really did not mind, because I was able to get an appointment today, and the cardiologist was not too far away from the lab where I had my blood work done.
I walked into Quest Diagnostics, and waited for just about 1 hour before I was seen. I really did not mind, because I was able to have a conversations with a couple of ladies, both of whom were a few years senior to me, but we were able to talk about the way things were when we were young, and how things are now. I thought the conversation was very refreshing. My name was finally called, and I was on my way out of the facility 10 minutes after that.
I went to KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) for lunch, and then surfed the net at a Starbucks on the corner of Beach Blvd and University. I was actually trying to kill some time because my cardiologist appointment was not until 3:00pm. I finally started making my way over to the cardiologist at 2:35 pm, and after getting lost, I found the office at 2:55 PM.
After filling out the standard new patient package - I really wish there was a way to share persistent data between providers - I was called back to see the doctor. Now Dr. Campbell felt things were in order, but he did want me to have another EKG, which we have scheduled for after my surgery. Of course my surgery is scheduled for March 17th unless I hear otherwise.
After leaving the doctor's office, I went to get a prescription filled, did a little grocery shopping (spent a little too much, and came out with less than I thought I had), and made my way home. I returned home at 6:30 PM. Now let's put it all into perspective. I left the house at 7:11 AM, and returned home at 6:30 PM after going to the courthouse, seeking two doctors, getting blood work done, and grocery shopping. Bearing in mind that my primary mode of transportation were my feet, and the bus. Even though this was a day off from working at my regular job, I felt like I was working another job instead. Now just how wild is that?
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Sunday, March 7, 2010
The Battle of Caseus and Pervacus
MARCH 7 2010 1140 - JACKSONVILLE FL - I wanted to she a brief tale that I wrote, about a battle between two warring foes. Although entertaining, yet not mentally draining, it teaches a lesson I suppose. I call it:
The Battle of Caseus and Pervacus
Caseus stood on the kingdom's wall as he watched an army approach from the sea. He smiled a wide grin, this Caseus did, as he prepared to make Pervacus flee.
Every man in the kingdom did Caseus call, all men of a suitable age. He ordered his generals to train them up fast, just fill every man with rage.
Pervacus army advanced, as most armies did, phalanxes of men line by line. The army of Casceus prepared quite the same to ensure Pervacus would have a rough time.
The battle was joined at Pervacus command and his army rushed forward full steam. The army of Caseus split both left and right, and sandwiched Pervacus in between.
The army of Caseus fought with great vigor, each man giving all he could give. Caseus beamed and the enemies screamed and said let not one enemy live.
Pervacus grimaced as he began to realize that this battle he could not win. Though all appeared won, Caseus was not yet done, and vowed to fight Pervacus to the end.
The battle raged on for three days and nights, until the sun of the forth morning rose. The army of Caseus, though victorious and worn, did laugh at the death of their foes.
Pervacus did flee, what's left of his army and he, for he knew it was better to run. The army of Caseus, both weary and weak, did enter the gates they had won.
Caseus walked through the triage of men, all injured but still full of glee. No one took heed, though there was quite a need, to the danger that approached from the sea.
The sentry on watch sounded the alarm, and Caseus rushed to the wall. When he arrived, he could not believe his eyes, and felt as his heart could just fall.
Pervacus rode lead to what Caseus deemed was a phalanx with seeming no end. The first army fought was an expeditionary force that was used to weaken his men.
Caseus gave order to his army of men who were too weak to answer the call. Pervacus then commanded his men to attack, and the walls of the kingdom did fall.
Pervacus found Caseus in the throne room, too frightened to utter a word. Pervacus looked Caseus deep in his eyes, and gave Caseus the tip of his sword.
As he fell to the floor Caseus cringed until he could cringe no more. As he lay dying, there was no denying, he'd won the battle, but lost the war.
Although many died that fateful day, some lived with this story to tell. About how Caseus won a great battle, yet the walls of the kingdom still fell.
Ironically, there is a moral to this story. An intelligent General will not focus so much on one single battle, that it costs him the war in the process.
Friday, March 5, 2010
March Roars In
MARCH 5 2010 2030 - JACKSONVILLE FL - How do I describe my feelings today? Melancholy? Is that the word? Or, is it something more technical such as "Hum Drum"? I don't know, but whatever it is, I think I've got it bad.
So, my past 72 hours we a little something like this. I go down the child support on Wednesday March 3rd, and quickly discovered it was a major waste of my time. If I were to open a case, it would have taken as much as 180 days before I would have felt any effect, which is funny considering I was going there to tell them to take money from me. Weird world indeed. I discovered that the case she opened with child support is about to be closed, but it makes not difference, since her gold digging lawyer is trying to use the divorce to break me financially. Oh well, God will keep me so I will not have to do without, regardless of how those aligned against me try to break me. Let them bring their tanks, their guns and Atomic Bombs, I'll just fight with God, for he is all of the defense I need.
Yesterday, I go down to the courthouse, after a stop at the public library to retype and print out my answer to her petition. An answer, that I would soon discover was actually a counter petition which would have cost me $300 to file. Now, I should have just gone ahead and filed the counter petition, but I said to myself that I am just not going to waste the effort. Give her what she wants so I can go about the task of reconstructing my life. Will they try to destroy me financially? Yes, of course, and I will simply suck it up and take it. Chock it up to a very valuable experience. Besides, God has other plans for me, so I have to remove any and all distractions so that I can focus on what it is that God wants me to do.
I did go to the doctor yesterday. Just as I expected, and the MRI confirmed, I will need surgery. So, we set a date, which just so happened to be St. Patrick's Day, March 17th. I guess that means no green beer for me. What a real bummer. But you know, there is something else about that day. I know, I believe it was the day that my mother and father were married in 1963. Yes, my older brother was conceived before my parents married, like BFD for real. So, maybe it is providence that I am having my surgery on the same day that my parents were married. I am not too sure of what, if any significance that actually holds, but heck I felt it was worth noting.
Oh, I almost forgot, I got a new phone. I went to Boost Mobile with the intent on buying a Blackberry Curve, but when the salesman told me they were out and were not expected to have any for a couple of weeks, I figured I was wasting my time with Boost Mobile. The salesman told me I should try Best Buy, but I figured why bother, so I went to Metro. Now, where Metro did not have the Blackberry Curve, they did have this phone called Code by Samsung. Honestly, this phone will do what I need, which is mobile email, and the internet. It is also kind of fresh looking, and it uses Windows Mobile, so it is like a complete Win/Win. I am happy with it. Don't get me wrong, I mean I paid a good little amount for it; however, for unlimited talk, text and web all for $55 including insurance on the phone and no long term contract, it sure beats the heck out of that cheesy little XV6900 I had on her Verizon Plan. Heck this Code even includes Navigation, which was something that I had to pay extra for on her plan. All in all, I am pleased. It is the last big ticket item I could treat myself to before the hammer drops and the money begins to vanish into thin air. Now, if I can only figure out where to put an expanded memory card, I will be all set.
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