What Abount What I Want?

FEBRUARY 7 2010 1133 - JACKSONVILLE FL - I want to die. Seriously, I said it. I want to die. Ok, I can see the puzzled looks now, the open bewilderment, the pondering ire. I can see it all. You think I am mad (British for Crazy), but I ensure you that I am full control of all of my mental facilities.

 

So why is it that I want to die? Perhaps I should ask you, why shouldn't I want to die? You know, in all honesty, that is the only thing that I want which I am certain I will actually get. Oh yes, that's right. Of everything I have ever shown an interest in wanting or desiring, I do not have much to show for it. Things I have wanted for years as often stolen from me. Things that I want to achieve are typically interrupted for the sake of the appeasement of another person's desires. Hell, I go to McDonald because I want a Big Mac and Fries,and I will be damned if I get my bag and discover once I am miles away from the McDonalds that the bastards did not put the fries in the bag.

 

I wanted to complete my degree, but the lack of dead presidents makes that into an incredibly steep mountain to climb. I want to drive a $50,000 car, but finances seem not to want to line up for me to make that dream a reality.

 

For years I have wanted another child, and in 2008 God finally blessed me with that child. It was a wonderful blessing, until someone became jealous of the relationship I had with my son, and the fact that her pastor said to her that the kids will cling to their fathers. So jealous was this person that she cheated an emotionally and mentally abusive environment so that she can force me out of the picture, and there by steal from me the one thing that I have wanted for more than 16 years.

 

Now the list goes on and one, and it is indeed long and distinguished. Some items on it are as simple as I want to promote on the job, but I miss out because I help other people look good so that they can promote. I want to be happy, but there are people who can not stand me being happy, so they become hell bent on ensuring I will be miserable.

 

Seems that the more I want in life, the more I am obstructed and, or otherwise robbed. So, why should I not simply want to die? I am very darned sure that is one want which can not be obstructed or stolen from me. Well, allow me to qualify that statement. Only God can obstruct me from dying, and only God through Jesus can steal death away from me. According to the Bible, the last people to live longer than 130 years were found in the book of Genesis, and that was a very long time ago.

 

So, because of my certainty that death is inevitable, I can openly declare that I Want To Die, and have every degree of confidence that this time, I will certainly and finally get what I want for a change. Now, who thinks I am crazy?